My Dear Friends

We have many dear friends. Some we have known all our lives, some are new, and we treasure all our dear friends. Our deer friends however not so much. Some of our dear friends like to stop by for coffee and conversation. Our deer friends like to stop by for a midnight snack as can be seen in these photos.

Really, Just the Ornamentals?

My biggest complaint is, why do they only eat the ornamental plants? There are plenty of non-ornamental plants to eat; in fact the weeds vastly outnumber the flowering and foliage plantings. I would even be willing to pay them to eat the weeds; even at union scale if they would eat just my weeds. Alas, the union steward, I think he's the one with the antlers, has been unwilling to discuss any terms with me. He actually runs whenever I approach him. I'm almost beginning to think Scott Walker might have the right idea about unions.
It could be that the does with nursing fawns (mommy deer friends) are the ones leading the protest against eating weeds. When I was growing up we drank milk from our own cows. In those days, it was unheard of for a farmer with cows to buy 'store bought' milk. Anyone who grew up on a farm, back in those days, knows that if the cows get into the weeds it will give their milk an off-taste, very bad you know.
Sometimes we would drink it right from the cow, but usually it would first be strained in a large funnel.

I remember one family that had a home pasteurizer from the Sears Roebuck catalog, but they were kind of odd to begin with. Today raw, unpasteurized milk is considered an unacceptable risk to public health. Milk borne diseases like undulant fever and listeriosis once common are now quite rare. On the other hand, none of today's kids will ever get to experience the of taste warm milk fresh from the cow.

A Repulsive Idea

So, left with no other option, we sprayed the ornamentals with "Deer and Rabbit Repellent". This solution comes in a spray bottle and apparently is quite effective. It has only one slight, itsy bitsy little drawback. It stinks. It doesn't just stink a little; it stinks to high heaven. It doesn't just stink on the little plant; it stinks up the whole neighborhood. If the wind is from the West, the elderly lady to the East holds her nose every time she goes outside. If the wind is from the East, my neighbors to the West don't come outside at all. With a North wind the little boy and girl to the South cry all the time they are outside until their mother comes out with a cloth over her mouth and nose to drag them inside. Evidently deer repellent is also very effective at repelling friends, neighbors, children and their parents, little old ladies, as well as deer and rabbits.

A Solution to World Prolems

I think we could probably solve the controversy over funding for contraceptives. A little deer repellent goes a long way; just apply a drop anywhere to your body and no one will come near let alone want to do you know what with you. It would probably be equally effective against assassins, terrorists and invading armies.
The people at the lawn and garden store said it will stop stinking after a while, but then the deer will resume munching.